Introduction

I currently have a studio space at Goldsmiths Art College in London. Part of the studio is a Curating Room which artists and curators at the college can use to exhibit artwork. For the duration of last week the space was taken over by artist Sam Curtis

Within the exhibition space Sam had built a smaller art gallery using paper, string, sticky tape and tin foil and established himself as Gallery Owner. Sam asked me to do a show within the space. On Wednesday evening I performed the following selection of songs and poems about art galleries :

Watch the video
1.5MB Quicktime movie

Let me disappoint you

In case you were wondering how I got this showI’m not very good but I blagged someone that I know
Make you excuses and leave before we get any worse
This venue will be empty before we finish the first verse
If I were you I’d I would get the hell out of here
Make your way to the bar and drink all the free beer_________
Here we all are now let me disappoint you
My lack of practice might really quite annoy you
Here we all are now let me disappoint you
My weak musicianship might really quite appal you
Here we all are now let me disappoint you
Let me disappoint you (repeat until scary)

Gonna build a Gallery

Gonna build a gallery. I've got some art to install.
Gonna build a gallery. I've got some art to install.
I could use a warehouse or an old church hall.
Gonna build a gallery. I've got some art to install.
Gonnna paint white on all the walls
Gonna build a gallery. I've got some art to install.
Gonna fill it with art and sell it all.
Gonna build a gallery. I've got some art to install.
I could be a dealer and control it all.
Gonna build a gallery. I've got some art to install.
I could get funding and make it free for all
Gonna build a gallery. I've got some art to install.

Watch the video
3.5MB Quicktime movie

We’re all stuck in a white cube

You see paintings on white walls.
You see sculptures on clean floors.
You see labels with dates and names.
You’ve seen places that look the same…

We’re all stuck in a white cube, a white cube, a white cube.
We’re all stuck in a white cube, a white cube, a white cube.

The walls are white, yes that’s right, the walls are white.
The floors are grey, and you can’t play, the floors are grey.
It’s hung with lights, to keep it bright, it’s hung with lights.

We’re all stuck in a white cube, a white cube, a white cube.
We’re all stuck in a white cube, a white cube, a white cube.

No, you can’t touch the precious stuff, no you can’t touch.
It’s under glass, to make it last, it’s under glass.
The staff they watch, so you don’t touch, the staff they watch.

We’re all stuck in a white cube, a white cube, a white cube.
We’re all stuck in a white cube, a white cube, a white cube.

The picture aren’t hung to tall upon the wall, they aren’t hung to tall.
There’s stuff in pedestals, and they won’t fall from their pedestal.
It’s nicely spaced to modern taste, it’s nicely spaced.

We’re all stuck in a white cube, a white cube, a white cube.
We’re all stuck in a white cube, a white cube, a white cube.

It all has a label, it’s educationable, it all has a label.
There a catalogue, where the art is logged, there’s a catalogue.

We walk around, tell our friends what we found, we walk around.
We’re all stuck in a white cube, a white cube, a white cube.
We’re all stuck in a white cube, a white cube, a white cube.

Watch the video
3MB Quicktimed movie

Little Donkey

Say “hello” to Ass the Donkey everybody

Ass The Donkey is a beast of burden. He carries on his back the burdens of the artist, such as craft and skill and theory.

Ass, why don’t you lay down some of your burdens? Why don’t you leave behind the burden of painting? It is so heavy and old, surely your journey would be easier without it?

What’s that you say Ass? It’s too precious, you can not leave it behind. Well suit yourself.

Little Donkey, Little Donkey on the dusty road.
Got to keep on plodding onwards with your precious load.
Been a long time, Little Donkey, through the winters night.
Don't give up now, Little Donkey, avant-garde's in sight.
Ring out those bells tonight.
Avant-garde, avant-garde.
Follow that star tonight.
Avant-garde, avant-garde.
Little Donkey, Little Donkey had a heavy day.
Little Donkey carry painting, safely on its way______.

Watch the video
2.7MB Quicktime movie

Why Is This So Contemporary?

[Based on “Why, oh Why, oh Why?” by Woody Guthrie]

Why is a shed a boat then a shed
Why, oh Why, oh why?
Because in the tabloid something just has to be said.
Goodbye, Goodbye, Goodbye

Why, oh why, oh why, oh why-o
Why, oh why, oh why?
Because, because, because, because.
Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye.

Why are they so suspicious of the commercial art fairs?
Why, oh why, oh why?
Because they’re so rich and it just isn’t fair
Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye.

Why, oh why, oh why, oh why-o
Why, oh why, oh why?
Because, because, because, because.
Because, because, because

Why is this just so contemporary?
Why, oh why, oh why?
Because tomorrow it will be so passé
Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye.

Why, oh why, oh why, oh why-o
Why, oh why, oh why?
Why, oh why, oh why, oh why
Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye.